Sweet Potato Haircut

Ways to fill time meaningfully:

Hiking. It’s winter now, but I lace my boots and drive 20 minutes to the nearest trails. I might only walk for twenty minutes, but I feel freshness in my lungs and the air on my skin is cold and makes my aliveness tingle. I don’t have friends who will winter hike with me, but it’s just as well, for I can revel in the communion of nature and feel the deep set belonging of my body and spirit to this world, this natural world which is always and always in this moment, tethering me to the planet and holding me in an embrace of oneness.

Yoga. I often practice without instruction, creating my own sequences in my dorm room, breathing deeply and cracking the window for fresh, cold air. Sometimes I search yoga playlists on Spotify or play my own, but often it is in silence that my body can find it’s cadence. I never feel guilty about time spent doing yoga, which means a lot these days when I find myself feeling anxious over the worthiness of my time spent. A note on this: I am allowed to create my life, and spend time as my heart appoints. And so are you. If you’re plagued with a similar elusive expectation of worthiness, maybe we can internalize the reality that we are already worthy right now, just as we are, bodies under the sun and the snow and the stars. And I can watch TV or eat too much or cry or be social or lay in bed or exercise or read books or sit in stillness and feel fulfilled, if it fills me up. We live until we die, and sometimes you have to just listen to yourself. You are the right answer, always.

Meditation. Similarly to yoga, I always feel fulfilled after sitting in attempted silence. My mind trips and stumbles around, trying to find the moment, but the effort feels right and there are benefits of the practice regardless. I use Insight Timer, and find that sometimes the guided meditations not only aid my practice, but make me feel connected. Both to the wisdom and voice and loving kindness of the teacher, as well as with the meditation community, casting their tethers across the world and filling me with a sense of unity. There are weekly meditation groups too, and though I never type anything, having fellow meditators in conversation throughout the week reminds me of all the people facing life too.

Journaling. What could be more reassuring than processing things with your wise self? I simply love it. My mind whirls and my journal invites the calm to come. Most of the time I am writing about each step of my day, or lists of things, or fears and anxieties, all of which help to unload the chaos of a busy brain. And sometimes poems and beautiful words swim to me, and I find them on my page with glee.

Watching TV. I have a complex neurosis about TV watching, as it sometimes embodies my fear of a wasted life. But as previously mentioned, I don’t really believe there is such a thing as a wasted life. It just is. And watching my favorite TV shows, especially at night, feels great. Maybe that can be enough of a guide, trusting myself and doing what feels right. I might never be a Guru of purity or perfection, but I will be happy and joyous. So watch TV when it feels comforting and right. There’s something healing about sharing in the communal experiences of humanity through film. But it’s also just damn relaxing!

Talking on the phone. I have come to love long phone conversations. It bridges the challenging gap of needing social interaction, but lacking opportunity of finding it. I call my parents often, and ramble about life until my heart is warm and beating again, I facetime my best friend and we watch TV series together, commenting on every detail and smiling at each other through the screen. I call my brothers and one will talk for hours with me about anything that comes into his mind, while the other says “Hi!” and then soon after, “Ope! Something’s happening I have to go!” I call my grandparents sometimes, but mostly I’ll send them letters.

Write letters. Similar to “Talk on the phone,” but about writing letters.

Drugs. While this isn’t easily translatable to all lives and experiences, having the option to smoke some weed every once and a while gives me an edge of excitement and makes me feel cool. Also, it makes me LAUGH, which is it’s own meaningful way to spend time. If you don’t like drugs, don’t worry. This is a non-essential to a fulfilling pandemic life, or just life. Once I took a single hit of weed in my car and went back to my dorm room and had to lay on my bed for hours because everything was too much. As I said, it adds some excitement, whatever that might mean.

Going on an errand. I am so fulfilled by doing ERRANDS! A few weeks ago I ordered a single photo to be printed at Walgreens, and then bundled up and set out on my bike. I picked up my 39 cent photo, and then went to the Salvation Army to buy a frame for it, and then biked home. It maybe took an hour and a half to frame that picture, but it was so satisfying. I think the theme here is that the feeling of accomplishment, in nearly any form, is fulfilling. Thus, ERRANDS are a great way to spend time.

Going to the grocery store. This deserves its own category because it’s so damn fun. Look around: endless possibilities. And snacks.

Anything that makes you feel good. Do anything that makes you feel good to have a fulfilling life. Listen to your insides. Give sweet potatoes haircuts in the grocery store, put on lotion, make tea, eat delicious snacks, sing songs and celebrate you. This is the best way I know to understand happiness: by choosing to do things that make you feel good.

May we all be happy and well in these pandemic times, and out into the rest of our time together spinning in space.